Monday, November 8, 2010

Don't worry. Mommy is here.

I'd have to start out this post with a warning of the forthcoming cheese fest. However, I just had a baby and therefore cheese is to be expected in these here parts.

Last week was undeniably the greatest week of my life. It was so full of love and laughter. Certainly, there was a great deal of frustration and tears. Yet, with every bump in the road, I had a fabulous partner at my side encouraging me, picking up the house, running errands and becoming a swaddle master. And I had my mom.

After hearing about my own birth story and knowing how supportive my Grandma June was for my mom, I so wanted her here. However, when we first started discussing Bennett's birth plan, the logistics were a nightmare. Unless I ended up with a scheduled induction or c-section, it would be impossible to plan ahead and buy a plane ticket. With a twelve hour drive separating us, that option seemed unlikely to work at all. We also had her own job responsibilities to take into consideration. Depending on when he decided to make his appearance, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to be here more than a couple of days. I was heartbroken.

Bennett or someone else was paying attention to all of these moving parts when the little man arrived on a Friday, allowing us ten whole days with the new Grandma Ski. It was ten days of singing silly songs, arguing that every facial expression was really a smile in disguise, pretending his little legs were walking, posing him for pictures, walking Atticus, and all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, and folding. Then there was everything she did for me to make sure I learned how to be a mom myself. There was no pressure and no judgment.

Time and distance have separated me from my mom for ten years. We are so good at emailing and talking on the phone that the distance was bearable. Being pregnant changed all of that. When I wasn't feeling well, or I was given a new reason to worry she was always the first phone call. She got numerous calls over the nine months that started with a choked cry. I just wanted her near me. It was so hard.

I fooled myself into thinking that when he was here, it would get better. But now I have entered the mom club. My mom and I share this new bond. So when we dropped her off at the airport yesterday it was so painful. It wasn't painful because I wasn't sure that we could care for a newborn without her. It wasn't painful because the housekeeping and all that comes with it now fell to Rocky and I again. It was painful because I already missed her.

For someone who wasn't sure she was ready to be a grandmother, she could have fooled me. She took to it like a fish to water, a bird to flight, a pig to mud. I loved every minute watching them together and I am counting down the days until we get to be together again.

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