What We Learned: 38 Months

This monthly check-in seems to coincide nicely with the end of the year. When I try to recollect all the things that the past month has taught us, it's hard not to think of what the past year has taught me. 2013 was the year of no pants. Yes, dear readers, my 38-month old munchkin has become a pseudo-nudist. I'm sure I'm supposed to be embarrassed about this fact, but the truth is I love it. You just never know what you might find when you come home from the grocery store or come down stairs, or enter the playroom. My little pants-less wonder is still a wonder, even after 38 months.

Bennett learned that in the winter, the house is freezing.

We learned that while socks are necessary, pants are not.

Bennett learned to take his clothes off.

We learned that unfortunately, he still needs our help putting them back on.

Bennett learned two verses to "Jingle Bells."

We learned that hahahaha is best sung in a toddler falsetto.

Bennett learned that Christmas is for candy.

We learned Bennett has "hands good for opening presents."

Bennett learned to roll dough, use a cookie cutter and dust sprinkles.

We learned that his new favorite phrase is "howbou howbou howbout." Also known as "how about" on repeat.

Bennett learned that Santa gives toys to boys who share.

We learned that even dozens of cookies will not compensate for one missing.

Bennett learned that tennis shoes are not made for puddle jumping.

We learned that Bennett thinks all hats in the house belong to him.

Making Merry Memories

Bennett is at such a special age this Christmas. Last year, I was able to enjoy the fact that he was old enough to appreciate the decorations, the treats and the presents without all the gimme gimmes that accompany the season. Unfortunately, I am not sure we can say the same this Christmas. This child has changed his mind about his list about 14,000 times including things from pirate telescopes to drums to capes to trucks with buttons. Thankfully, I've been able to fulfill some of the more reason requests and ignore the ridiculous. Ahem, arrrr.

We are also trying to start a few family traditions while also taking stock of what we should really be grateful for this season. I found an adorable advent calendar at a craft shop and was thrilled to find that the little pockets were large enough to accommodate chocolate, matchbox cars or even Christmas socks. I was not thrilled to find my little sheister starting to request more and more preposterous things for said advent calendar. Ahem, arrr and vroom vroom and toot toot. I do think it is possible Christmas jumped the shark around the third of December. My hopes for the advent calendar were further dashed when I noticed I purchased an advent calendar with a typo.

Ok, let's try another memory maker. Let's do something kind for a stranger! I spent several hours in the cooking, baking and decorating for our local fire station. When we arrived the fire fighters were very engrossed in their lunch and didn't seem to be very surprised that a toddler was giving them cookies. Then, said toddler remained too embarrassed to sit in the fire truck or even say Merry Christmas. Ahh, maybe next year?

When it came time to visit Santa I believed I had done enough coaxing to persuade my little munchkin that he didn't need to be afraid. Sure, he had been negotiating that he wouldn't sit on his lap, but rather sit next to him and in no way would he be coaxed onto his lap. I was so proud when he stood in that line for nearly an hour with nary a tear or a groan. By the time we were up next he flipped out and told me I had to go up there with him. And that is how I found myself in the Santa picture for a second year in a row.

At least he looks happy, right? Of course, as I went to pay the elves, he stood there chatting with St. Nick for a good five more minutes, delaying the rest of the kiddos. I would have much rather had a picture of that!

However you choose to celebrate, I hope your holiday is very Merry!

Happy Friday

I hope you all have a great day. I know someone else who is!

Justified

Last week I did something I rarely do. I didn’t put on a Suit and Tie. I played hooky. It was about time I spent some time with My Kind of Girls. We know this girl needed it.

Mel, Aubrey and I are no strangers to finding an excuse for a reunion, even if it happens on a Wednesday in Indianapolis. I certainly didn’t mind the drive because I had more than Four Minutes to myself. More like four hours to think about Rock Your Body and Bringing My Sexy Back.

This was no Summer Love. This was a ride with intermittent flurries and frozen wiper fluid. Miles after miles of snow covered plains that reminded me over and over again that What Goes Around Comes Around. Comes Around Comes Back Around. With a pile of snow.

But a random trip to the heartland is worth it with or without the Casanova. I needed my Senoritas. They listened to me Cry Me a River. They were like my Mirror, trying to pull me through, saying “you just gotta be strong.”

Then we composed ourselves and made sure Justin Timberlake would Give it To Me, with a full band, (tubas included!), light effects, travelling stage and some hunky back up dancers.

It was a great reminder that I don’t need a superstar to Let The Groove In, just a few Sexy Ladies. Now we’re planning another trip, it’s just Why, When, How? Because these girls are My Love, Until the End of Time. 

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Once upon a time I made a similar list and my husband almost killed me. He had already finished his Christmas shopping and Santa's bag was filled with some eerily comparable gifts. Apparently, the man reads my mind. Since our gift giving philosophies have evolved over the years, I don't have to worry about such a conundrum. 

I don't share my list for spoiling me purposes, but for spoiling yourself purposes. And with pop culture hating on Carrie today, I figured maybe my vast readership could change the conversation and focus on my favorite things and not Ms. Underwood's lederhosen. 

I've been loving on this Boden booties for years. This year's version is velvet. Velvet!

The most adorable gloves from Anthro.

Continuing the bow trend, Kate Spade's new clutch. This is a must for all the yachting I anticipate next year.

I love love love this candle. You don't even need to light it to smell the pretty peonies.

Now this is where my list gets weird, but really all I need for Christmas (besides a baby of course) is a pint of ice cream from Jeni's. I think Santa could figure a way to keep it frozen in my stocking, right? Salty Caramel is my fave, but I can't wait to try the dark chocolate peppermint. 

Continuing in my shop local/eat my feelings category, is the amazing house salad dressing from bread and company. Maybe Santa could replace the coal in my your stocking with dry ice?

That whole no babies thing

This might be difficult to read and I give you permission to skip this entry if you don't want to hear the tough stuff.

This spring, I had a miscarriage. Then, a month ago I had another. Both times the baby stopped growing but my body continued to produce hormones and I failed to miscarry on my own. I needed surgery. It was painful and very sad. Some days I feel broken and other days I feel like hurrying up and trying again.

What makes our situation more complicated, is that we can't just open a bottle of wine and wake up to a second pink line a couple weeks later. For us to have a baby it takes medicine and a miracle. Some of our friends and family know the dirty details, but for my sake and the sake of my child(ren) I hope you will forgive me for leaving the specifics offline.

When we felt ready to start our family and quickly learned we needed help, I couldn't imagine living childless. I was desperate and got down on my knees to pray. I begged for a child and fully believed that as long as I had one I would be happy. I begged for at least one and we know I finally got lucky. For nine months I tried to savor the experience knowing it might be my only shot. When I was in labor with Bennett, I vividly remember standing in the shower, rubbing my belly because I was so afraid it would be the last time.

I have waffled back and forth about writing about this here. Once upon a time, I wanted to but I couldn't and wrote an anonymous blog instead to get my feelings off my chest. Part of me needs to write to help process the weight of these emotions. So much of my silence this year and so much of what has already been published is influenced by my infertility. Yet, I need to discuss it on the blog and perhaps even let other people know they don't need to suffer in silence.

We have known since the beginning what a miracle that child is and I don't want to take it for granted, but I know that my heart still wants another. I just have to believe that with the trials and tribulations we have encountered on this journey, this is going to be one very loved baby. And that's just it, I have to believe.