|BB King at a Burger King in Somewheresville, VA|
I’m just not so sure about the emotional sense. Bennett has been, shall we say, challenging? He goes to bed on the central time zone, but wakes up on the EST. Besides poor night sleeping, he skips naps. He gnaws on a finger as if he’s teething, but I don’t see any buds. He’s hungry all the time. He is happy and content playing on the floor with cups and spoons, but the minute he sees me, he fusses. I can’t decide if it’s general, “mom where have you taken me and why have you passed on your fear of change gene” or, perhaps, I’m just a reminder that dad is nowhere to be found. It breaks my heart.
I can’t decide if I broke Rocky’s heart too. He loves his job and the fear of the unknown is scary, even for people who welcome change. His coworkers have offered free legal advice in the form of divorce papers. Hardy har har.
Maybe it is the temporary state of things that has us all in a dither. We are bunking with my parents until we can move into semi-permanent digs in August. From there, we’ll be renting a townhouse on a short-term lease so we can take our time to find the perfect house and answer the eternal to ‘burb or not to ’burb question.
I have to remind myself of just how lucky I am that our dream of moving to Nashville finally came true, speed bumps and all. My job is going to be a great challenge and I'm fortunate to have great coworkers. My sister happened to have almost two weeks off from work so I didn't have to make any rash childcare decisions. Our house sold in six days. My friend bought us a house and in turn, provided us with the perfect rental solution. These things don't just happen unless they are supposed to. I guess I am just surprised that despite how easily the logistics of this move seemed to fall into place, my head and heart can't keep up.