California Pining

Gosh, that whiny girl who wrote a few weeks ago about being overwhelmed?  That girl had no idea what overwhelmed is.  Let us consider a few facts: I will sleep in six cities in a span of thirteen days.  I will travel or have traveled from coast to coast for work, family, nuptials, friends and a romantic weekend away.  Then, I return from said vacation and potentially, hopefully(?) close on our new house the very next day.  Let me just say life is crazy, hectic and unpredictable.

I returned from my quick work trip to a little boy who when he saw me, walked right past me like I hadn't been missing from a bedtime, wake-up, pick-up, drop-off  or two.  I guess I deserved a passive aggressive child from all the sins I have committed in my lifetime but that doesn't make it hurt any less.  Thankfully, a booboo and a kiss to make it better later, I received a big huge hug.  He stayed there with his head on my shoulder for a few moments longer than normal.  I was back in his good graces.

Less than a week later, I'm packing my bags again.  After an eighteen month engagement, we're finally headed to Cali to celebrate a friend and her mate.  She got engaged just a few week's after Bennett was born, at the peak of the sleep deprivation.  There was never a better time for a distraction and a goal.  I fantasized about our trip from that point on, knowing I'd be in desperate need for an excuse to see old friends and relax at the beach. 

I imagined a weekend at the wedding, followed by a drive up the coast to Napa and Sonoma, Rocky at the wheel of our vintage convertible.  We'd wind up the road taking in the scenery that Tippi and Alfred etched in my mind, with my hair wrapped in a scarf and Jackie O. glasses on my face.  There was no room for any aviary carnage, just seafood and spirits. 

Reality has hit once again.  First, work trips made me worry that it was too much time in one month spent away from my baby.  We'll have to skip SanFran and head straight for the vineyards.  Then, I realized that even without a work trip, a single night away is too much time away from my baby.  Skipping the wedding wasn't an option.  But we have never before needed this break from routine so badly.  We'll be taking a mini version of the fantasy I had in my mind, still beachy, still seafood-y and still spirited.  I hope we don't have to have another booboo to make amends.